The Importance of Getting Bored:

Getting bored is more important than what we think.

When we are in “Constant Run“, “Working Hard“, “Tacking projects over projects“, “Doing party every night“, “Travelling all around the world“.

Getting bored permit to mark a stop on this constant run, as a metaphoric quote when we get bored it permit : “To see ourself in a mirror” Which is very important and even mandatory, it permit to know more ourself and who we are. When we never get bored, the risk is, it create a gap between internal and external picture of ourself.

To explain it differently it’s like having our “Ego” growing a lot without realising it. The picture of ourself in our mind will be Good, Beautiful, Powerful, but suddenly realising, (In our context)(In our world) we might not be that much successful than what we think.

When we realise this gap between our Ego too pictures .. It can be as receiving bucket of cold water on the head realising we might not be that much Good, Successful, Beautiful.

It’s a moment we can feel completely alone… Quite lost with ourself with difficulty to love ourself and love other, feeling alone means as being “completely alone” as in the Dark Space for long period of time even with people around us ( The movie “Passengers” show a scene where the character is doing an External Excursion in Space to see the Stars ) (The movie “The Fontain” is showing a character doing Meditation in Parallel World ) These scene permit to imagine, the feeling of loneliness, it permit to keep this moment in mind when we are in depression.

It’s a moment we have to talk to our Doctors and Family. Cause it can be very difficulty to come back to this Dark Space or Parallel world alone, In the past there was a name for particular Sickness (Manic Depressive). Meaning doing depression but that might occurred again and again and having difficulty to get back from this.

Something we says and quite true is “To remember is there is always some people that love us around us“. This seems simple but when we are in this empty dark space, it’s a moment in our life we completely forget it, it’s difficult psychologically cause our mind get ups and down constantly.

We generally think no one love us.. As if no one was interest so much about us.. Or no one is liking us, but we have to remind, it’s not true, this is something we have impression to see but by looking at it multiple time we can realise it’s not really true, there is always people loving us anywhere, we have impression no one love us because everyone is busy with there own problem work and life, but it is also the case for us when we are fine, we are also quite busy ourself when everything is fine.

When we are in depression, we generally get over sensitive it’s globally a moment we have difficulty to take care of ourself. We forgot people are loving us, around us. Cause of our hyper sensitivity make things blur for us, we are not able to focus any-more and find our way in this Dark Space. We generally get sad after each discussions with anyone getting things too seriously cause of this over sensitivity.

Sometimes Psychiatrist explain us, having depression is as having our house completely destruct by an Earthquake. Depression is like Earthquake, we are not able to control amything when it occur, and we cannot what we want after it’s not that much simply, we have to go step by step to reconstruct our house slowly ( As our health ).

When we are depress we miss oxygen, it’s a moment we want to change our mind going on holidays, see our friends, but the problem is : Friends can be helpful as family “If” they know how to react to this current mental status and if they have some knowledges regarding psychiatry and depression.

Basically only Doctors or health care professional can really help or guide us in this condition. We have to take care of ourself and globally only Doctors or Family ( Familly little aware about how ) are peoples able to help. Even family sometimes have very big difficulty to help. It’s globally better if it’s someone external from Family and Friend Circle, as Doctors, Psychiatrist, Psychologue, Talking Therapy and so on, they are train for that you can then open freely what is wrong with less difficulty.

There is an other Metaphoric Idea behind depression ( Mindfulness Teachers use it sometimes ) we can compare our mind to a “Glass” Full of water and having “Dust” on bottom this glass full of water, if we shake the glass will make the glass of water cloudy, The water will appear unclear, troubled, basically when we have a depression our mind is like this Glass as foggy mind, not any ability to focus on something.

People can ask anything to someone in depression, Depressed people will have very high difficulty to do anything, it’s not their fault, it’s just cause the dust making the water cloudy and troubled is as the mind in depression “Unclear” and we have not so much things we can do only taking care of us is the best possibility we have at this particular period of time.

The person have to wait the dust get down again, it’s very difficult moment because we want to get better straight away and we are impatient. When we are depressed we generally are more difficulty to be patient, But more we shake the glass more the glass is unclear. it’s Vicious process that’s reason why if we do not see someone able to take care of us and help us to go back slowly from this dark space it can be difficult.

We generally get over sensitive for everything “Over judgemental to ourself” or in constant circle of “Personal condemnation” not loving us and then having difficulty with other. (You cannot love people around you if you do not love yourself.)

We have to remind ourself it’s like if we were taking a picture of ourself.. It’s a vision, of a “Moment“, we might think our life is completely broken but it’s very rare it’s the case really there is lot of possibility we cannot resume ourself to one moment. We should keep hope and positiveness. Keep looking high.. “There is always a way” as we say sometimes.

In this moment of Depression we very often get over-thinking mind, by trying to note the ideas caming in our mind and look at them few days after, permit first to keep trace of our ideas but also help to realise our ideas was not “as” much complex and difficult to resolve.. we have more ability to look at our idea when we have distance with them.

Something to remind is when we are having a problem with our “Ego” getting too big, as Christophe Andree explain our mind is “Constantly Ruminating” as Turning Loop never able to finish to think. Our mental discussion by our Ego is showing idea that can be resume generally in too category “Always Me” or “Never Me” Our Ego is catching everything and turn everything for us or against us. We cannot stay positive in this condition.

There is a nice movie related to the process of constructing ourself when we are child it’s the movie “To be and to have“. ( This movie is not directly related to this topic of depression but help in process of explanation how we are constructing ourself during childhood. )

When we grow up, our relationship with others help to construct ourself we say sometimes “We construct ourself through others” but in contrary : Staying alone help us also to know more ourself (our own self).

I heard once on a Radio “France Inter” a French Politic Journalist and Editor Name “Guy Birenbaum” explaining his depression; He explained himself as doing lot of sports, aware about mindfulness, aware about problem with depression globally existing everywhere. He explain getting shocked regarding the Far Right Rise in Europe since few years. He explain following his own term literally getting “Smashed” in a deep “Burn Out” never thinking he would have had depression like this.

I’m talking about Guy depression because when I heard his story I realise depression can occur to anyone even if we are well educate and very well knowledgeable we can have depression. No one is really protected completely about it. We think people are fine around us but it’s generally because we are not so much seeing people suffering.

Christoph Andree remind in his book “Remember that most of people around you, have cross the hell multiple time already“.

Lot of reason make us thinking we have to show we are well and fine, did you notice when someone ask you if you are fine we generally say “yes” even if it’s not the case, we have sometimes difficulty to say it, cause we don’t want to show also our problem to other, but also sometimes because we have to be successful making us afraid sometimes to show our Fragility or Wickedness. Men have tendency to hide their feeling more than woman.

It’s very rare to be able to be constantly happy and say everything is fine. Everyone have to be careful and take care about themselves. We have to keep reminding depression can happen to anyone. Sometimes it’s even inverted people feeling constantly happy are the people more at risk of depression as we say sometimes.

That’s exactly why getting bored is something that help us of to go back slowly in our basement to continue to construct, consolidate, or reconstruct something wrong for ourself and taking care of us.

Getting bored is not that much easy cause we have decide “to choose” to reduce speed and activities. It’s sometimes very difficult we generally don’t want to reduce our speed.

Society is build on success we might be afraid of doing nothing. It can sounds socially “Weak” and let us think we are not so much attractive any-more. We also sometimes have difficulty to find ourself understanding what is occurring in our life. It need self confidence that is also slowly build with care and rest.

Something helping a lot after having a depression is to see our Doctor and ask possibility to start a Therapy. see (Link). As we mention on the (Link) Therapy Doctors are helping a lot cause they are part of Health Care and not related to the circle of Friend and Family.

Getting bored is a moment we have to decide to stay alone a bit and stay strong in this posture. When we are Depressed we have tendency to be afraid to say no to invitation.

Friendliness and Relationship are something also very important for human, we say sometimes Human “Need” Socialising it’s something in our “Gene” we are not able to live without it. If we remove Socialising to human so then it can make him completely Lost.

In contrary Famous Writer “Jean Paul Sartre” was saying also the “Hell is other people” meaning also Socialising can also destruct us, It’s “An In between“.

We can say also “Your Freedom ends where mine begins” It was “Camus” French writer who translate it like that, it’s also sort of “Dance” of all relationship finding the correct limit between Liberty, Politeness and Respect between people and us.

As Juliette Greco was saying in Abd AL Malik Song (Romeo et Juliette) “Notre besoin d’amour complique“, “Our need of love make things complex“.

Staying alone help to go down from our own “Tour” ( “Empire of Dirt” as mention Youn Sun Nah in Hurt song bellow) Thinking what we want and who we are thinking to be, about our past and history. But staying alone can also make growing our Ego. (And that’s the tricky part). When we are alone we are sometime “Over thinking” and “Ruminate” too much. That’s what make our Ego Growing.

Christoph Andree Psychiatric and Doctors at Saint Anne Hospital Paris, mention being thanks-full to everyone help to reduce our ego. Ego is needed for human but when our ego get too high that the moment it create ourself problem.

Christoph Andree propose the Mindfulness method also call “Meditation” in French or “Mindfulness” in English in his book he explain a good way to reduce our ego and help to slowly to go down, is to help to be thanks-full to everyone being present with attention to people around us.

• Christoph Andree book (With Alexandre Jolien, Mattieu Ricard) “In Search of Wisdom: A Monk, a Philosopher, and a Psychiatrist on What Matters Most“

That’s the complexity of “Friendliness” and “Loneliness“. Both can bring very good and bad things.

It’s an equilibrium between Helping our Ego, Finding ourself and Socialising with other. We need to find ourself to know more who we are, what we want, and in the same time keep Socialising keepiing being thankful to Everyone.

It’s an constant equilibrium, even more complex to maintain if we are speed and not maintaining healthy lifestyle, we have sometimes to go back on our own inner centre to find back ourself.

Youn sun nah – Hurt :

A very good book also related to Mindfulness to help our personal health is “Chade-Meng Tan” – “Search Inside Yourself” one of Google’s earliest engineers and personal growth pioneer.