The Importance of Getting Bored:

Getting bored is more important than what we think.

When we are in “Constant Run“, “Working Hard“, “Taking projects over projects“, “Doing party constantly“, “Travelling around the world“.

Getting bored permit to mark a stop on this constant run. As a metaphoric quote when we get bored it permit : “To see ourself in a mirror” Which is very important and would be even mandatory following some information we can read sometimes, it permit to know more “Ourself” and know more “Who we are“.

When we never get bored, the risk is, it can create a gap between our internal and external picture of ourself.

To explain it differently it’s like having our “Ego” growing a lot without realising it. Our own picture of ourself will be Good, Beautiful, Powerful, but suddenly realising, (In our context)(In our world) externally we might not be as much successful as what we think.

When we realise the gap between our Ego and these too pictures.. It can be as receiving a Bucket of Cold Water in ourself.

It’s a moment we can feel completely alone…

Quite lost with difficulty to love ourself but then also loving other peoples, feeling alone means as being “Completely alone” to give an example it can be as being in the Dark Space but for a long period of time (Even by having friend or family around us) ( The Movie “Passengers” show a scene where the main character is going outside a Spaceship to see the Stars ), ( The Movie “The Fontain” show a character doing Meditation/Mindfulness in Parallel World ) By seeing this two different scene and movie, permit to keep in mind this moments in case we are having depression one day.

It’s a moment we have to find help from our Doctors and Family it is very important. Cause it can be very difficult to come back from this Dark Space, Parallel World/Reality alone, In the past there was a name for depressive disorder, it was name (Manic Depressive). Meaning doing a depression that is occurring again, again and again, having difficulty to get out from it.

Something we says and it’s quite true is to :

“Remember there is always peoples loving us around“.

This seems to be simple idea, but when you are in this empty Dark Space as previously explain, it’s a moment in your life you can forget it completely.

We generally think no one is loving us.. As if no one was interested by us, But it’s not real, it’s not possible, when we look at it multiple times we realise it’s not the reality, there is always people who are loving us around, it’s difficult psychologically cause our mind is getting ups and down constantly.

This impression is create because everyone is having their own busy life and problem, but it is exactly the same for us, if you think about it, when you are feeling fine and busy with your life, we are also busy with everything, it doesn’t mean we do not love people.

When we pass this depression period we realise things are coming back to normal as it was in the past our relationship with family and friend globally come back as normal.

When we are depress it’s never a problem of love between you and your friend family it’s mainly communication issue… Difficulty to express and understand other, all disturbance cause of your mind set.

The mind Set increase difficulty to take care about ourself, increasing this over sensitivity, it’s also. And this hyper sensitivity make things Blur around us, we are not able to focus any-more, being aware, understanding things but also being clear in what we do. We generally get Sad After Each discussions with anyone taking things too seriously mainly cause of this hyper sensitivity (overloading us).

Sometimes Psychiatrist explain “Depression“, is as having our “Home” completely destruct by an “Earthquake“. We are not able to control anything when it occur, and our Home get completely destruct after, we have to go step by step to reconstruct our it slowly ( As our Health ).

Depression can also give us impression to miss Oxygen, for example, it’s a moment we might want to change our mind going on holidays having new breath, having laugh, seeing friends, doing party, thinking we can be able to focus on something else than our problem, thinking to other things.

The problem is : Friend or Family member can be helpful “If” this person know how to react to this current mental status and if they have some knowledges regarding Psychiatry and Depressive disorder.

Basically only Doctors or Health Care staff are really able to help or guide us in this type of condition. Even family member sometimes can have very big difficulty to help. It’s globally better to have someone external from the Family or Friend circle, as for example Doctors, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, this peoples are “Train” to know how to react, in this kind of situation.

Mindfulness Teachers explain sometimes what happen in this kind of situation regarding our “Mind Set”: To Imagine it as a Glass, Full of Water, with “Dust” on bottom of it, if we shake the glass, the Water will suddenly get Completely Cloudy, Unclear, Cause of the Dust on the bottom moving in the water.

When we are in depression our mind can be compare to this Glass with Water completely troubled, as our Mind Getting Foggy, without being able to focus on anything.

People can ask anything, to Depressed people, they will have very high difficulty to mention or do anything, it’s not their fault.

When we are depress, there is not so much things we can do whereas taking care about ourself.

When someone has Health Issue, depending also the amount of time it is occurring, we should realise it can take long time to fully recover.

It’s sometimes taking 6 months at least and even sometimes years to be able to recover completely about this issue cause you do not control anything your body need to come back from this.

Since the Covid Pandemic the Symptoms of Covid make things even more difficult with Long Covid Symptoms. Our health is even more Fragile today.

It’s very difficult moment because we want to get better straight away and we are impatient. When we are depressed we generally have more difficulty to be patient, But more we are active and not taking care about ourself more we shake the glass more the glass is unclear.

It can be as Vicious Cycle that’s reason why we need doctors help to come back from this “Dark Space” it can be very difficult otherwise. We generally get over sensitive for everything “Over judgemental to ourself“, in constant cycle of “Personal condemnation” not loving ourself increasing difficulty with other.

In this moment we get over-thinking Mind, further more during the night, A good step is to have Paper and Pen on the side of the Bed To try to remember what we were thinking during the night. (By the way it is now possible to find Digital Tablet giving ability to write idea as if it was on a Black Board or Block Note.)

An other good advice is during the night (being depress or not) We generally have dreams or sometimes nightmares. it is very good to try to keep trace on a paper about our Dream. It is helpful to ourself and Psychiatrist to understand the meaning behind this Dream. Cause our dream our subconscious talking to ourself.

Something to remind also is when we are having a problem with our “Ego” getting too high, “Constantly Ruminating” as Turning Loop. We can realise our mind is generally get stuck in too category of Idea define as: “Always Me” or “Never Me“.

Our Ego is catching everything and turning it constantly for us or against us. We cannot feel well in this condition. Thinking constantly (Always me or Never Me) it is helpful to realise and take distance with this turning loop and our Mind Set. for our Body and Physical health we can also follow, (Link), (Link).

There is a nice movie related to the process of constructing ourself (When we are child) It’s the movie “To be and to have“. ( This movie is not directly related to this topic of depression but help to understand how we are constructing ourself during childhood. )

When we grow up, our relationship with others help to construct ourself we say sometimes “We construct ourself through others” but in contrary : Staying alone help us also to know more ourself (our own self).

I heard once on a Radio “France Inter” a French Politic Journalist and Editor Name “Guy Birenbaum” explaining his depression; He explained himself as doing lot of sports, aware about mindfulness, aware about problem with depression globally existing everywhere. He explain getting shocked regarding the Far Right Rise in Europe since few years and explain following his own term literally getting “Smashed” in a deep “Burn Out” never thinking he would have had depression like this.

I’m talking about Guy depression because when I heard his story I realise depression can occur to anyone even if we are well educate and very well knowledgeable we can have depression. No one is really protected completely about it. We think people are fine around us but it’s generally because we are not so much seeing people suffering.

Christoph Andree is a Psychiatric and Doctors at Saint Anne Hospital in Paris using Mindfulness to help to cure people, explaining in his book:

“Remember that most of people around you,
Have cross the hell multiple time already“.

Lot of reason make ourself tinking we have to show, we are well and fine, by the way, did you notice when someone ask you if you are feeling fine we generally say “yes”, even if it’s not the case, we have sometimes difficulty to say we are not fine, maybe because we don’t want to show our problem to other, we are feeling busy, and want to be successful and it make us afraid to show our Fragility or Wickedness. Men are known to have more tendency to hide their feeling to other.

It’s very rare to be constantly happy and say everything is fine. Everyone have to be careful and take care about themselves. We have to keep reminding depression can happen to anyone. Sometimes it’s even inverses people feeling constantly happy are the people more at risk of depression.

That’s exactly why going back slowly to ourself/roots to continue to rebuild and take care about ourself.

Getting bored is not that much easy cause we have to “Decide/Choose” to reduce our own speed and activities in Life. It’s sometimes very difficult cause we don’t want so much o simply cannot reduce our activities.

Also we might be afraid about reducing activities, engagement, doing nothing, cause our Society is indirectly build on success. Doing nothing can sounds socially “Weak” and let us think, we are not so much attractive any-more. We are also sometimes having difficulty to understand what is occurring in our life. We need help and self confidence, slowly building, with Care and Rest.

Something helpful after having a depression is eventually to start a Therapy. As we mention on the (Link) Doctors are able to help a lot cause they are part of the Health Care Staff and also not related to our circle of Friend and Family.

Someone outside Friend and Family is more helpful because without any past emotional affect that permit to this person to better advise in this situation.

( It’s important to be aware about it. We always recommend to choose a psychiatrist outside our Close Relationship, Family Circle. A Family member can help you to find a Psychiatrist but the Psy should never have already See and help Family member to avoid any misguidance, it is someone that should be external ).

Getting bored is a moment we have to decide to stay alone doing nothing. When we are Depressed we are globally afraid to say no to invitation, sometimes also call as “Social Pressure“.

Relationship and Friendliness are very important for Human Being, we say sometimes Human “Need” Socialising it’s something written in our “Gene” we are not able to live without it. If we remove Socialising to someone the person can become completely Crazy.

In contrary Famous Writer “Jean Paul Sartre” is famous to have said “Hell is other people” meaning also Socialising can destruct us, it is an “In between“.

we can also hear sometimes “Your Freedom ends where mine begins” It was “Camus” French writer who translate it like this, we can compared Relationship as sort of “Dance“, trying to find a way between Liberty, Politeness, Respect between peoples and Ourself.

Juliette Greco said in Abd AL Malik Song (Romeo et Juliette) “Notre besoin d’amour complique“, “Our need of love make things complicate“.

Staying alone help to go down from our own personal “Empire“. (Youn Sun Nah mention “Empire of Dirt” in “Hurt” song originally written by “Johny Cash“.) Thinking what we want and who we are thinking to be, also regarding our past and history. Having sort of reflection to all what happen in our life.

But staying alone can also make growing our Ego. (And that’s the Tricky Part). When we are alone we are sometime “Over thinking” and “Over Ruminating“. That’s what make our Ego Growing indirectly. More we are thinking more our Ego is at risk of growing quickly. This probably mean also more we stay Relax less our Ego is Growing. Being Relax is probably not lowering Ego but at least it help to avoid to make it too big.

Christoph Andree, mention being thanks-full to everyone help to reduce our own ego. Human need Ego to live, we cannot live without it, but when our personal Ego get too big that the moment it create problem for us and others.

We just have to be aware about it and try to care about ourself. Regarding lowering our Ego it’s globally difficult to do something straight away. Doctors are always helpful to help us to work in this objective.

Christoph Andree propose “Meditation” in French (“Mindfulness” in English) to try to help to cure depression. He wrote a lot of book on this topics, with two other friends of him, he decided to write a very book in this Direction.

“Matthieu Ricard, Christophe Andre, Alexandre Jolien.”
“In Search of Wisdom: A Monk, a Philosopher, and a Psychiatrist on What Matters Most“

It’s always the complexity regarding “Friendship” and “Loneliness“. Both can bring very good and bad things.

It’s an equilibrium between Helping our Personal Ego, Finding ourself and Socialising with others.
We have to find ourself to know more who we are, what we want, and in the same time keep going to Socialise and being thankful to Everyone.

An Equilibrium, even more Complex to maintain, if we are not maintaining healthy lifestyle, not having time for ourself, we have sometimes to go back to our own “Inner Centre” to Find Back Ourself.

Youn Sun Nah – Hurt :

A Very Good Book also related to Mindfulness in order to help our Personal Health is from one of Goggles earliest engineers and personal Growth Pioneer: Chade Meng Tan – Search Inside Yourself.

“Chade-Meng Tan”
“Search Inside Yourself”