How can we help teenagers understand the process of bullying so they, together with their parents, can react and stand against it?

Bullying, According to the Cambridge Dictionary:

“The behaviour of a person who hurts or frightens someone smaller or less powerful, often forcing that person to do something they do not want to do.”

Understanding the process of bullying helps us respond with more social intelligence, avoiding passivity while also reducing stress and toxic environments, whether they’re caused directly or indirectly. We are all participants—and therefore responsible—in these kinds of situations.

Clémence Mary, writing in Libération on March 17, 2023, highlighted the thesis of Margo Deage, who draws our attention to the underlying mechanics of bullying.

Deage describes bullying not merely as using someone as a “human shield,” but more accurately as turning them into a “lightning rod”—a powerful metaphor that illustrates how one individual absorbs the collective negativity, anger, or stress of others.

Bullying is a deeply complex issue. It creates a vicious cycle, an atmosphere where tension, stress, and toxicity spread—like a black hole or tornado pulling everyone in. It’s extremely difficult for a single person to stop this process, just as it’s hard to stop the elements—wind, fire, or water. Often, people don’t notice what’s happening until the damage reaches them personally.

The real danger is that everyone becomes mentally and physically trapped in such a toxic environment.

Mindfulness Teachers remind us: When you start to see signs of fire, act quickly—before it spreads beyond control.

There’s always a way to intervene and disrupt toxic dynamics. Reversing toxicity is a virtuous process, beneficial not just for a few, but for everyone involved.

Extract from French Newspaper Articles :
Liberation Articles By Clémence Mary Publish on the 17th march 2023:

At the end of December and the beginning of January, the respective suicides of 11-year-old Amber and 13-year-old Lucas, both victims of school bullying or homophobic, highlighted the public powerlessness to curb this scourge. If acts of violence are rare, between 800,000 and 1 million children are victims of bullying at school each year, according to the Senate report released in 2021. For her thesis, published under the title A l’école des mauvais reputations (PUF, 2023), Margot Déage, a sociologist at the Jean-Jaurès University in Toulouse, immersed herself in the relationships between middle school students through a field survey in four institutions in Paris and Ile-de-France. Middle school is a time in life marked by great conformism and extreme social control, she explains. In the intimacy of the school, teenagers judge each other: “Constantly giving your opinion on others fuels conversations.“

What are the mechanisms by which reputation is built at school?

The goal of the majority of teens is not to be noticed, because a reputation at school is often bad. It can be built in the collective unconscious through laughter, nicknames, games; or strategically, through disclosure or defamation. Disappointed in friendship or love, some young people decide to “make a reputation” for others, by releasing one or more “Dossiers” to take revenge. Scapegoats guarantee the moral worth of the rest of the group by acting as a “Lightning rod”, behind which others can continue to quietly lead their lives and experience transgressions that are “less serious” in their eyes.

Why is the line between laughter and mockery so blurred?

In order for laughter to take hold, the group must be insensitive to the student who is experiencing the hilarity. This callousness is strong in middle school, where empathy is not welcome. Derision prevails, as does the desire to show that we are there to have fun. Whoever does not go in this direction will be sidelined. In public, students say they are fine, but when we talk one-on-one, many confide that they can’t be themselves or express certain emotions such as sadness. The student may feel that a bad reputation is deserved, be aggressive in front of the group, and as an aside regret his actions and admit that he is playing a role for fear of rejection. Individualized follow-up can be a lever for education staff.